For almost all of us, our parents honest to god do their best. But here is the problem. Parents can only teach what they know, therefore many make the same mistakes their parents made with them. History is doomed to repeat itself unless it's looked upon with an objective and open point of view.
Parenting is not black and white, it is all shades of grey, and this is why it's so repeatable. Because of this, when one looks back to how they were parented it is really hard to decipher what was good, what was bad, and what was in between. So for better or for worse, parents often take the same tact as their parents before them. Just like a writer writes what they know, parents parent how they know.
This has nothing to do with parental tactics like spanking vs not, or positive vs negative reinforcement. This has to do with something, in my opinion much bigger. Being raised to be a cog. When I was younger my mother and father were always on my case about having a "bad work ethic". In my opinion I didn’t have a bad work ethic. I had a smart work ethic. I didn’t do homework at home, I did it when my time wasn’t truly my own, for instance the bus ride to school, homeroom, lunch or even in class. To most this looks like pure laziness and procrastination. In a way I guess, it was. But on a grander scheme of things, it was a way to make the most out of my time. I wanted to spend MY time doing what I wanted, and spend the time dictated by others, on things I didn’t necessarily want to do.
My first job didn’t come until I was 17. I had no interest in working, because I didn’t need the money. Let's be honest, for most of us while we are still minors we don’t need money. Food, clothes, and shelter were provided for me since birth. I didn’t NEED for anything, and I was a very simple kid. I accumulated enough money from birthdays and holidays to buy the teenage necessities, like video games, a bike, skateboard, and condoms. See, I always had the mindset that nothing you don’t NEED is worth giving up your time for. Time is by far our most precious commodity. It didn’t feel right spending an hour of my time for $7 at a grocery store. The price of time is infinitely more valuable than money. I'll get more into this another time. Anyway, after immense pressure and parental disappointment I got a job. Do I regret it? Absolutely! Nothing in my life today is better for having that crap job as a cashier. The only thing I learned is what I already knew. I'm being raised to work harder than the people I'm making money for. Honestly, instead of being forced to work, I would have rather been forced to read. Knowledge, especially when young is worth much more than measly minimum wage.
My mother has a great job for the state and my father a great job running his own business as a plumber. Both are hard workers. To most people's standards it got them a good life.
My father tried over and over to get me to learn plumbing. Honestly I thought I was too good for that life. It was arrogant and pompous of me to think that because looking back, I'd rather have that life, than the life that was being planned out for me by my mother and educators. I was to get good grades in high school, get good grades in college, and then make someone else money. I always loved the idea of working with my mind, which is why I disregarded plumbing so easily. Also my mother said she would kill me.
Honestly I have no idea how I escaped both of those lives, but I am sure glad I did. Neither were right for me. We need cogs, and those that accept dogma can fill those roles. But to we, the free thinkers a better life awaits.