The key to true happiness is constantly saying IDGAF. The more we are saying IDGAF the truer we are being to ourselves. Those who know me know idgaf about much, and honest to god I still want to GAF about less. The amount of IDGAF I want to attain is the "we're going streaking" scene from Old School. My gf will get a little nervous when she reads I want her to join me. JK, just metaphor… but maybe not. ha
We live life with too many other people in mind. We let too many people in our lives impact our decisions because we don’t want to disappoint others, be talked about, or "lose face". We get too much pride from looking at ourselves through other people's eyes. Ill speak anecdotally for a second. I owe so much to my girlfriend, and I WANT to live partly through her eyes. She is the only person that could stop me from doing something that I wanted to do. Honestly out of every single person in my life she is the only person that has earned that right. She is the only person that has been close enough to me through the good times and the bad. After that sappy AF paragraph who did you think of? Who is that to you?
Many people think I'm lazy, if you knew me you'd know that is true. My entire family thinks I'm extremely opinionated and competitive, if you knew me you'd know that is also true. But IDGAF. My laziness created a mindset and scenario where I continuously defy the norms of adulthood. My competitiveness in all things, made me a winner in important things. People reading this may think I'm a selfish prick. I'm okay with that, and you should be okay with people thinking you are too.
Through whose eyes are we looking at ourselves? Is it the few people that deserve to impact our actions? Or is it waves of people creating an undertow that is drowning us? We can't please everyone and honestly, we should seek to please almost no one. Trying to please family and friends is learned. We are taught from birth that what our parents think about our lives is more important than what we think about our lives. That is how it should be for a while. But it becomes a problem when we start projecting these feelings of needing to please people onto more people than we should. Eventually we need to grow tf up and start thinking for ourselves. We must live with ourselves. If we make a mistake following a path that we didn’t want, we still own that mistake. It is our mistake to bare. The people that force fed us this path don’t share in our mistakes. For better or for worse our actions have consequences. Just make sure our actions are our own, not someone else's.
I want to make an important distinction before I go further. I'm not saying actively try to displease people. That is something that people do all the time. I grew up with someone that thought it was hilarious to piss people off. He thought that just because he hid his anger behind laughter and an immature remark he wasn’t angry. When a matter of fact it was that anger that drove him to such low actions. I fell into that habit and it took me a long time to realize that is scum bag behavior, and the behavior of someone that is displeased with their own life. I was angry and had no idea how to let it go. Eventually I just needed to say IDGAF. Point is, so many of us actively please people we shouldn’t, and actively try to anger people we shouldn’t. Stop doing both and it will likely even itself out. Once we strive for the approval of only those that matter we stop doing things that make us miserable. We stop hurting others. Others stop hurting us.
I ask again. Through whose eyes are you looking at yourself? Pleasing your family and friends is nice. But it should NEVER be at the expense of your own happiness. Do your parents not like your gf/bf? Screw them. Are you a fully functioning "pot head". Good for you. Do you do porn and love doing it? Go for it and send me the link. Are you expected to go to college but don’t really want to go? Screw that, you are young, follow your passion. If, but more likely when you fail, you just can’t care about the "I told you so" you are going to get. If you live your life through your own lens, the "I told you so" won’t embarrass you, or make you angry.
Take my advice or don’t, IDGAF.